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Leading into conversations about sexual health can be much easier when there is a bit of a prompt such as a TV show referring to sexual health or a related school health topic. Ask your child their thoughts on what they are seeing or whether they discuss those topics with their mates.

Like any other topic you discuss with your child, if your emotions are calm and rational in the situation, your child is more likely to open up in the future. Even if you don’t fully agree with a certain situation, try to remain rational as it is better than you are informed in order to keep your child safe. 

Listen openly to what your child is telling you and provide them with accurate information. Refer to things by their proper name so your child is not confused by any concepts. If you do not know the right information or aren’t confident, then research it together with your child from a reputable source. 

See resources for parents and children for more information. 

If your child is seeking further information from you, it means they are likely getting the right information at the right time. Let them know you are happy they came to you and to keep asking regardless of the topic.

Some topics your child may want to discuss with a third party as bringing it up to a parent seems strange. Keep an open line of communication with your child but inform them there are other people who can help with their questions too, including a trusted family member, a youth worker or a known healthcare professional. By allowing this, you take the pressure off yourself as a parent and your child can open up to an external trusted source.

When you teach your child about different gender identities or different perspectives, they are much more likely to be empathetic to others in certain scenarios. Discussing sexual health while asking further questions like “How would a young female or male feel in that scenario?â€� or “What about a person who is navigating their gender identity?â€�

While STIs infections such as chlamydia and gonorrhoea can be treatable, they are very easily spread and can have lasting impacts on health, for example, infertility, ectopic pregnancy, preterm birth, neonatal death, and pelvic inflammatory disease. Some infections, like HIV and herpes, spread easily and cannot be cured. This is why knowledge about safe sex is so important for teenagers. 

The most common examples of STIs include:  

• chlamydia
• herpes virus
• gonorrhoea (the clap)
• genital warts
• hepatitis B
• hepatitis C
• human immunodeficiency virus (HIV)
• human papilloma virus (HPV)
• syphilis.

STI should be diagnosed through a sexual health clinic. The Family Planning NSW Talkline is a free and confidential service if your child does want to seek out STI testing discretely.  

STIs are usually treated through a course of antibiotics or antiviral medications and will be prescribed, if necessary, after a sexual health checkup and positive diagnosis. 

Contraception methods (birth control) help prevent or reduce the chance of unwanted pregnancy. They block the fertilisation of the female egg from the male sperm during and after sexual intercourse.  

There are many contraception options including: 

• Condoms: Condoms are either a (male) thin rubber tube which covers the penis or (female) can be inserted into the vagina. Condoms are a barrier method to contraception which can be sources through pharmacies and family planning clinics. Condoms (internal and external) not only help as a contraception aid, they are also a great way to practice safe sex as they stop infections from spreading for vaginal, anal or oral sex. Condoms can be up to 95% effective if used correctly and there are no breaks or slips.
• Contraceptive pills: a hormone containing medication which is necessary to be administered daily. The most common contraceptive pill is the combined pill (aka “the pillâ€�) which contains the two hormones- oestrogen and progestogen. The combined pill has 21 regular tablets and 7 sugar tablets to help keep the habit consistent through the time of a female's period. The other pill option has 28 total tablets and contains progestogen only. These have an effective rate of 93%.
• Intra Uterine Devices (IUD): a small device which is inserted in the uterus. There are two main types of IUDs (hormonal IUDs and copper IUDs) and can stay in place as a contraceptive device for 5 to 10 years. Both forms of IUDs must be inserted and removed by a trained medical professional.
• Contraceptive implants: a small device containing hormones inserted into the inside of the upper arm by a trained medical professional. It can last for up to 3 years.
• Depo Provera injections: a hormone fluid injected into the arm or bottom and lasts up to 3 months.
• Vaginal rings: a soft plastic ring which is inserted into the vagina and can last up to 3 weeks with the same 2 hormones as the contraceptive pill (oestrogen and progestogen).
• Diaphragms: a cup-shaped device inserted into the vagina before sex to prevent pregnancy. They are not seen as effective as other methods of contraception and do not prevent sexually transmitted infections (STIs)
• Withdrawal methods: This is when the penis is pulled out of the vagina before ejaculation and fluid is released. This is a difficult contraceptive method to control and is not advised.
• Emergency contraception: This method is used to prevent unplanned pregnancy if no protection was used during sex, a condom was broken or there was a contraceptive pill missed or not taken. It can be purchased at a pharmacy, is only one tablet and needs to be taken as soon as possible after sex. This is also often referred to as the morning after pill. 

No form of contraception is 100% accurate in preventing pregnancy for those who are sexually active. 

It is advised to talk to your family doctor to help understand what contraceptive method is right for your child. 

It is important to discuss with your child the important lines of consent including the rights and responsibilities they have as an individual. as well as the rights and responsibilities other people have as well. See Sexual consent to help you discuss these topics with your child. 

Research shows that children encounter sexual content earlier than their parents, usually through the internet and online pornography. The average age of first exposure to pornography is 11 years of age, which can seem worrying for parents, but there are some useful tips to help. Along with the Tips for discussing sexual health information, try to keep shame out of the conversation, reassure them that being curious is normal at their age and make sure pornography isn’t a taboo topic. 

It’s important for parents and carers to talk to children early about sexual health, puberty and sex to make sure they get the right information early, delivered in a safe and age-appropriate way. If these topics are completely ignored by parents, the risk is children are getting their information from unknown or more provocative sources. 

Other questions your child may ask: 

• What happens if a condom breaks?
• Do tampons get stuck? 
• What is an orgasm?
• Do people have to have sex?
• Can lesbians have babies? 

Family planning as defined by the World Health Organisation (WHO) is: 

“the ability of individuals and couples to anticipate and attain their desired number of children and the spacing and timing of their births.â€� 

Family planning includes all the services and support leading up to the point of conception and can include: 

• contraception
• sexual education
• prevention and management of STIs
• counselling services
• infertility management. 

Call the on 1300 658 886 for free and confidential sexual health support if you have further questions about family planning for your child. 

People with a disability deserve all the respect and dignity as they try to navigate this often-confusing world. Acknowledging their autonomy and answering questions in an age and intellectually-appropriate way will help you meet them where they are on their sexual health journey.

Along with providing accurate information for sexual health, contraception, consent and healthy relationships, explaining the social rules of sex is beneficial. Knowing what is acceptable private behaviour and what is acceptable public behaviour can help your child understand their own rights and responsibilities, for example, highlighting topics like masturbation aren't naughty or negative activities; it is a private act usually for the privacy of their own room.

People with a disability have their own thoughts, feelings, needs and desires. Recognising that curiosity and exploration exist and helping them understand when and where they may be able to recognise and explore their sexual health is important. If this is in the form of relationships, bring the other party’s parents in on the conversation to help create transparency and further support. 

By assuming your child ‘doesn’t do that� or they ‘won’t like that�, denies them the right to explore and understand for themselves. People living with a disability are often wrongly perceived as childlike or asexual. As long as they are in a safe, informed and consenting environment, respect this and allow your child to develop their sexual health.

Allowing others to understand where your child is on their sexual health journey will help keep a consistent message for your child. This could be other family members who care for your child or disability support workers who provide short-term accommodation. Like any other topic, checking in with other carers can keep you informed and on the same page.